Dream Big!

I’ve been a bit behind with the finding joy challenge. Here’s day 5’s challenge.

I am not only worth fighting for, but my dreams, hopes, and heart matters. 

My mom has always told me to dream big.  But, I never did.  I never thought I really could.  I never thought any of my dreams as a child were really attainable because I always played by the rules. I was an obedient child. It was my duty to be the obedient daughter. I felt like there was no other choice. I was expected to finish high school and go to college. My goal was just to make it to college. I had no idea what I wanted to major in, so I just took classes and ended up being a Sociology major because I truly loved what I was learning. During that time, my mom always questioned my decision to study Sociology. I lied to her and the rest of the world saying I wanted to go into social work or become a teacher. I knew that wasn’t my calling, but I needed an answer.

During my freshman year in college, I told my mom that I wanted to go into fashion design.  She actually wasn’t totally against it and accompanied me to check out a school I could possibly attend. Unfortunately, I wasn’t brave enough to take that next step to go to that school because I knew that I would have disappointed my mother.  She wanted me to go to a “University” not this school. And because I had essentially no experience, I was told by the adviser at the school, that my best chance in getting into the school would be if I started out as a merchandising manager not as a fashion designer because I basically didn’t have a portfolio or anything to show.  All I knew is that I could sew skirts on my grandmother’s vintage Singer sewing machine.  I made pieces for myself, but that was about it.  So, I went back and completed my BA at the University.  I almost became a Humanities major because I loved writing so much.  But I found what I learned in Sociology gave me a better view of the world.  I finished in 4 years because I knew that my mom who was footing the bill for everything didn’t want to have to spend any more money than she had to. Unfortunately, even with a degree, I didn’t know what to do with my life.

Now married, with a surprise fourth child on the way, I’ve realized that I can still dream and pursue them. I’ve also realized that some of my dreams have come true. My current dreams are not much different from those I had during my teen years, but they are much more focused with the future in mind. As a teen, I use to say, “I want to quit school and start a business (a retail store).”

My dream is to own my own business. I want to set my work hours and be as creative as I want to be. The only people I’ll have to answer to are my kids and my husband. One day, I know it will happen. It’s just a matter of time and a little luck.

Here’s day 3’s challenge.  This image helps me focus. I heart them.

Happy August!

Well, I can’t believe it’s August. Where has the time gone? Each year seems to pass by so quickly. I started this blog as a means to remember the simple and happy moments that go on in our family. Basically, I intended to blog about all the things I heart. But, my heart hasn’t been in it lately. I just haven’t been able to keep it up.  So, since it’s a new month, it’s time for a new start, a new beginning.

I’ve also decided to join the Finding Joy challenge. I find myself dwelling on things I don’t enjoy instead of the things I do. I think we all get lost sometimes with the craziness of work, the busyness of family life and the challenges of maintaining a home. I’ve been more overwhelmed than I have ever been in my life, but at the same time more relaxed about “things.” I’m getting older and wiser, I guess, but I crave more joy.  I don’t think we can ever have enough.

 

For the first challenge, we have been asked to post a selfie of ourselves holding the sign, “I AM ENOUGH” with the hashtag #findingjoy.  Well, I tried to do a selfie with a sign, but the perfectionist in me couldn’t get it to look the way I wanted.  So, being the “app hoarder” that I am, used about 3 different apps to get it just about right.

I am starting to realize that I am enough.  I can’t do it all and all that really matters to the mister and the kids is that I am here for them, as well as here for myself.