Bringing Back Music Monday!

…mainly because I miss it and I hate having to search for my favorite songs each time. Now, if only there was a way to rid them of commercials.

and here is the same song with Mary J. Blige, whom I heart!!

and I heart his version of Whitney Houston’s classic “How Will I Know” because it’s just so moving.

Enjoy!

On Being Pregnant…

I know there are many mothers out there who love being pregnant. I am not one of them. I wish it was a truly joyful experience, but for me, it’s a lot of hard work. With each pregnancy, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. This time around, I was tested at around 12 weeks and to no surprise, my blood sugar skyrocketed!

I’m now 16 weeks and I have been seeing a nurse who is a diabetes educator and an endocrinologist. It’s been a weekly thing since I was diagnosed.  I haven’t been able to control my blood sugar levels with my diet.  As a result, I am currently on 2 types of insulin.

On Turning 40…

I never thought I would get to 40 so quickly. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your 30’s pregnant or breastfeeding. And here I find myself pregnant again and will probably be breastfeeding after 41.

I had intended to lose all the baby weight by the time I turned 40. I was on my way, until I got strep throat and everything took a detour from there. It’s funny because I really don’t look my age, but my body really feels old.  It’s just tired and not just from being pregnant, but from going through every day life tasks. Sitting all day in a office doesn’t help either.

I miss the days when I use to wear sky high heels or crazy platforms. I miss the days when everything I tried on fit just right almost perfectly. I miss the days when I would and could eat anything and lose those extra pounds just like that. I miss my single self, but I wouldn’t trade it for what I have now for those days.

I’m actually more relaxed about life now. I don’t worry that I’ve gotten more round, more plump, more full. If anything, I’m more worried about not being around for my kids. With that, I will lose this weight. I will be healthy if not for my kids, for me. I want to be around long enough to meet my grandkids.  My dad, as healthy as we thought he was, didn’t get that chance. He never got to meet his grandchildren.

My heart of the day. These three and me at 39.

ikea restaurant, burbank, ca – mother’s day, 2014